1. You’re paying for a friend to listen to your problems 

I think of the therapeutic relationship as sacred. It may have some qualities of a friendship, but it is far from a friendship. A therapist listens but with trained intent to find patterns, symptoms and themes to best help you meet your treatment goals. If it feels like this with your current therapist, bring your concerns to them. It’s important to know what you’re working on and feel as though you’re moving in the right direction. 

2. Something must be seriously wrong with you

It doesn’t matter if you’re preparing for a major life transition or dealing with debilitating Depression and/or anxiety. Those circumstances don’t mean something is “wrong with you”, but rather, something is “happening to you” that is causing a negative impact. There is a difference. I see so much shame being carried by people who are suffering because of the unrealistic expectation to always have your s*** together. You don’t have to struggle for the rest of your life. You can get better, I see it all the time.

3. Hiring a therapist means you’re weak

False. So false. 

I feel so passionate about this one because I see such inspiring strength from my clients. I also see them become stronger. It’s unfortunate that the stigma of struggling still exists. Examining how our culture defines “weak” and “strong” it’s easy to see that prioritizing the things that make you better do not make you weak – a commitment to following the same traditional methods of parenting or communication (for example) without regard to how it impacts your life and the life of those you love aligns more with weakness. Being willing to face your biases and patterns of behavior is strength. Period.

4. You have to lay down on a sofa

Is this really still a misconception? No. You can sit on the sofa, I guess you can lay down, but please don’t fall asleep!

Therapy can look very different these days. You can do virtual or Telehealth sessions from your own bed or sofa. I personally prefer in person sessions, but I will say there is something very cool about seeing people in their own spaces through virtual therapy. I’ve had clients reach over to show me a meaningful piece of art they made, or read an entry from their journal, and one of my favorites – getting to meet one of their pets.There’s something I’ve found about comfort being a crucial element for so many of my clients. Being comfortable helps remove barriers and ease the therapeutic process. So no, you’re not required to lay down on a sofa.

5. You have to talk about your childhood

Have to? No. You don’t HAVE to talk about anything. Sometimes it can be helpful to see where certain themes and ideas are rooted and that may mean bringing up things from your past, but examining your childhood in detail is not a therapy requirement.